Work from general to specific within the sentence

Posted: June 3rd, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Plain English: Tips | Tags: , | No Comments »

For example, when using names or proper nouns, put the explanatory information about the party before the name itself. Consider the sentence The Company reached an agreement with Local 200, our client’s union. The sentence leaves the reader wondering for a brief second what role Local 200 plays in the case. So put the general phrase, our client’s union, before the specific identification, Local 200, and say The Company reached an agreement with our client’s union, Local 200.

What do you think?